Friday 19 October 2012

My Bullying Story

I’m very touched that a minute of silence was dedicated to all victims of bullying today. The outpouring of support for bullying victims in the aftermath of Amanda Todd’s passing has actually inspired me to open up publicly for the first time and share my own story.

While my elementary school days were wonderful and filled with good friends and fond memories, middle school was the polar opposite and a total nightmare for me, 1998 in particular being the worst year of my life. I was severely bullied at the age of fourteen, both physically and psychologically, and it wasn’t long before I lost all hope and attempted to take my life (the afterlife seemed a far better alternative to the pain I was constantly enduring on earth). I was fortunate enough to have one kind and very observant teacher named Mrs. Dean who intervened, and it’s thanks to her that I’m still here today.

The road to recovery was a slow and rough one, though. My parents were afraid to leave me unmonitored, I required lots of therapy and medication, and finished grade 8 through one-on-one tutoring because I was too terrified to be in a classroom setting again or around other teenagers (I received my middle school diploma in the mail). Bullying had left me the human equivalent of an abused dog trembling with its tail between its legs. I couldn’t pass groups of teens anywhere without suffering extreme anxiety that they’d gang up to attack me, and began high school at Danforth Tech sitting behind a cubicle.

It’s very difficult to trust your fellow teens again after suffering such horrid cruelty at their hands, but my high school years were surprisingly good ones, and over the ninth grade I managed to emerge from my shell, regain faith in humanity, and make some very good friends there (I still remained guarded and skipped extra-curricular activities and my prom).

It’s true that the scars left behind from bullying are permanent, and I’ll never again be the same person I was before middle school. Bullying changes you forever, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and my experiences in middle school shaped me into the man I am today. I’m no longer a victim but a survivor, scarred but not broken.

I think it’s very important for my fellow bullying survivors to speak up and raise awareness to what we went through. It wasn’t easy for me to reveal such painful moments from my life just now and I honestly never thought I’d do so, but it’s important that we all band together to put an end to bullying once and for all, and who better to lead the charge than those who’ve personally gone through it and know what it feels like?

Many of you are parents to young children, and I want to see them grow up in a world where they’ll never have to experience what I went through. We need to educate all students on the seriousness of bullying (the crumpled paper experiment is a fine example) and form harsher punishments for bullies such as criminal charges that will make it crystal clear to them that such behaviour won’t be tolerated.

I don’t say all of these things for sympathy, to be an “armchair activist”, or to gain a bunch of likes, I say them because bullying and suicide awareness and prevention are the two causes that are closest to my heart and I don’t want to see anybody else suffer the same fate as poor Amanda Todd and countless other kids around the world. I want these children and teenagers to know that they’re not alone and are loved, and that suicide isn’t their only option even if it feels like it in their darkest hour (I thought the same way at the time). There is support and hope out there, and we need to make that clear to them. Sorry for the length of this post, and thank you for reading.

Saturday 28 July 2012

My Thoughts on the Summer of the Gun

I say all the time that every moment we have to live our life is a blessing. So often I have found myself taking it for granted. Every hug from a family member. Every laugh we share with friends. Even the times of solitude are all blessings. Every second of every day is a gift. After Saturday evening, I know I truly understand how blessed I am for each second I am given.” - Jessica Ghawi

Foreword: I haven’t updated this blog of mine in over seven months, as the theme behind it is ranting about topics that irk me and I just hadn’t found much to seriously gripe about over the past year. I did find a couple of topics that I’d planned to rant over for my big comeback, but they’ll be taking a backseat for now as I share my personal and heartfelt feelings on a very important matter (I was partially inspired by the young woman quoted above from a similar blog post she wrote following her recent near-death experience in a Toronto shopping mall. Unfortunately, she and many others are no longer with us, hence the topic of my following post).

When the pioneering silent film The Great Train Robbery was released in theatres back in 1903, the iconic final shot of the outlaws’ leader (played by Justus D. Barnes) pointing and firing his gun at the camera reportedly caused moviegoers to scream and duck behind their seats, such was the magic of a then fairly new medium known as the movies. Who would’ve ever thought that 109 years later, life would tragically imitate art in a Colorado cinema packed with Batman fans of all ages eagerly awaiting the midnight premiere of The Dark Knight Rises?

Admittedly, I’ve been feeling pretty shitty these last few weeks over the mass shootings that have occurred in such close proximity to each other this summer. Being from Toronto, I was already reeling pretty badly from the two public shooting incidents that occurred here before the big one in that packed Aurora, Colorado movie theatre completely shattered me emotionally. I didn’t know any of the victims of these heinous and senseless murders, but their deaths have affected me deeply nonetheless.

In all three cases, these were just ordinary men, women, and children out enjoying the summer and life in general. There’s so much darkness and evil in the world that people should have the right to at least put it all aside for a bit and enjoy themselves without fear of being gunned down. What makes random murders like these so scary is the fact that any one of us could’ve easily been among the victims, so I take great offence at any attempts to poke humour over something so gravely serious (sadly, I’ve already seen a few Batman-related “too soon?” jokes posted online, and needless to say I’m NOT laughing).

Maybe it’s because I’m often out in the open riding the subway throughout the city, or because I regularly visit shopping malls at least once a week, or on account that I enjoy watching movies on the big screen and have been to many huge opening night showings over the years. Whatever the reason, I feel our rights as human beings to go out and enjoy life have been completely violated this summer and think that mass murders such as these are no laughing matter.

I’m a spiritual man and a firm believer in God and the afterlife, but I strongly feel that we should all be allowed to live long happy lives here on earth and achieve whatever it is we were meant to without the thread of our lives being tragically cut short so senselessly. When I started the Ranting Zone last December, I never imagined that any of my future posts would be as serious and sombre as the one you’re reading now, but I just had to get these thoughts off my chest.

I will be “moving on” and returning to more light-hearted fair shortly (I won’t let the gunmen behind these three vile acts break my spirit), but will always keep the victims of the summer 2012 shootings in my thoughts and prayers. I hope we’ll never forget these tragedies and will work hard to create stricter gun laws and harsher punishments for anyone who carries out such crimes.

Life is a precious gift, so appreciate it and make every last second count. Put nothing off that you wish to do or accomplish, even if others attempt to ridicule or discourage you from doing so. Find something to believe in that will inspire and motivate you throughout life, since it could be quite empty otherwise. Spend as much time with your family as you do with your friends, for blood is thicker than water. Tell your relatives, significant others, and children that you love them everyday, as tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Be cautious while out in public, but still go forth and enjoy the rest of your summer; eat in food courts, attend block parties, and go to the movies. If you want to watch The Dark Knight Rises, then do so and have a great time. Thank you for reading, and God bless.

May violent scenes such as this famous climactic one from The Great Train Robbery remain strictly in the movies.

Tuesday 13 December 2011

TTC…The Better Way for the 2015 Pan American Games?

In the years following World War II, Canada’s Queen City was in a position to develop the greatest subway in the world. It failed, but the result has still been a very acceptable-and in some ways excellent-underground rapid transit system. That Toronto failed was simply a matter of poor planning.” – Stan Fischler, Subways of the World

To sum up the above quote, Toronto once had a chance at achieving subway greatness but ultimately botched their opportunity through poor planning (a fact cleverly parodied in an episode of
Murdoch Mysteries that aired earlier this year). Now, the city will play host to the 2015 Pan American Games in little more than three years, and instead of making the necessary improvements to their overall service, such as completing an unfinished subway line (four stops for the last decade) and building an underground streetcar line, the TTC (Toronto’s public transit operator) is busy increasing their fare an extra 10 or 15-cents…just to avoid reducing bus and streetcar service in the New Year (there wasn’t enough of them on some routes to begin with). Alas, history appears poised to repeat itself in 2015.


All of these “fare hikes” that the TTC enjoys bestowing upon their riders on a constant basis would make sense if the extra charge actually went towards improving their service or completing the aforementioned subway and streetcar lines, but nothing ever changes. Subway trains are constantly delayed due to “signal problems” and often taken out of service due to “mechanical difficulties”, which occurs daily and often during peak hours. In extreme cases of this, such as reports of smoke, shuttle buses are brought in to ferry passengers the rest of their way, which is the equivalent of stuffing rush hour crowds into tiny sardine cans. This is because the current line of wheelchair-accessible buses (the older fleets were FAR superior) are poorly designed with a lack of poles to hold onto and seats, in addition to a narrow second level that can only accommodate those standing in single-file.

Despite these bus design flaws, the oblivious drivers keep shouting at passengers to “move back!” when there’s clearly no more space to do so (picture Tetris when you’re about to get a “Game Over”, only the game doesn’t end). That’s the usual situation on modern TTC buses when service is normal, so imagine what it’s like when they’re replacing the much larger subways. It’s such a hellish scenario, that I actually prefer walking the hour or so to my destinations when these dreaded shuttle buses are announced. When the trains are actually running properly, they often make a horrid ear-piercing SCREECHING sound while pulling in and out of stations, which is akin to hearing a tiger scratch a chalkboard amplified by a hundred (you think your ears are going to start bleeding). Sometimes, the screeching is so excruciating that I actually have to clasp my hands over my ears and grit my teeth in agony.

On top of all that, the conditions in the subway stations themselves are often of Third World calibre, with garbage strewn everywhere, graffiti scribbled throughout, sticky floors, leaky ceilings that drip large puddles onto the narrow subway platforms (potential safety hazards), mice visibly running around on the tracks, out-of-service escalators and/or elevators (a nightmare scenario for elderly or disabled passengers), and washrooms that are so filthy and vile it’s almost better to soil yourself than risk your health using them. They’re seriously like something out of a horror movie (Warning: avoid the following paragraph if you’re squeamish, as it’s quite graphic).

You step into these “washrooms” (more like ground-level sewers) and are often greeted with overflowing urinals surrounded by large pools of urine, unflushed toilets with fecal matter smeared on the seats and stall walls, and at times even chunks of vomit coating the sinks. The stench of all these bodily fluids mixed together hits you like a ton of bricks upon entry and is so nauseating that you’re required to hold your breath until you exit. In addition, there’s usually a complete lack of soap, toilet paper, and/or working dryers, so it helps to go in prepared with a bottle of hand sanitizer and some napkins if you simply can’t wait to find a washroom elsewhere.

All of the above makes me seriously question what the TTC actually spends the extra fare hike money on. It surely isn’t going towards improving their service. In addition to regularly raising their fares, the TTC also charges riders for station parking, which was once complimentary with the purchase of a $120.00+ Metro Pass. They honestly can’t afford to keep their washrooms clean or subway trains running properly with all that money? What about the aforementioned subway and underground streetcar lines that need to be completed?

The population of Toronto grows larger each year, and things will definitely become even more congested when tourists and journalists arrive for the Pan American Games. If the TTC wishes to avoid embarrassment in 2015 (think back to the 2010 Commonwealth Games in India), they’d best get started on addressing and rectifying all of these issues ASAP. In fact, the only positive change that I’ve seen from the TTC in quite awhile was the introduction of their new high-tech subway trains earlier this year, which unfortunately also tend to fall victim to the same “mechanical difficulties” that plague their rusty predecessors (I sure hope they come packed with a warranty). In all fairness, I acknowledge that there’s been a lack of funding from the various government levels (municipal, provincial, and federal) in recent years, but what’s the TTC’s excuse for not expanding their subway system when they had the money to do so?

Perhaps the TTC could seek advice from GO Transit (the commuter rail and bus provider for the GTA and its neighbouring cities), which maintains cleaner stations and washrooms, continues to offer complimentary parking to their riders, and suffers from far less delays to their trains (when such delays do occur, GO reimburses their riders’ ticket cost). While GO charges by distance travelled, as opposed to the TTC’s single lump sum for their entire service, and makes a lot more money as a result of this, maybe the TTC could look into other options for income, such as selling naming rights to their stations to potential advertisers? Sure, it may sound cheesy getting off at “McDonald’s Station”, but if it improves service and leads to the construction of new subway lines (and hopefully redesigned wheelchair-accessible buses that actually work) without the need to eat away at riders’ wallets, then why not?

In closing, while work on the new subway and underground streetcar lines probably won’t be completed until many years after the closing ceremony of the Pan American Games, the TTC can still improve all other facets of their service by the opening ceremony and should make every effort to do so. Namely, getting their trains running properly, putting an end to that God-awful screeching sound, and keeping their stations and washrooms safe and sanitary. No more negative talk of service cuts and fare hikes. It’s time to step up to bat and hit a home run or two.

The various government levels should also get involved and offer any aid they have available. They all jointly funded the new subway trains (a fact pointed out by tiny monitors aboard them), after all. They should spare a little extra funding if possible, because unlike Toronto’s previous failed opportunity to build the greatest subway system in the world, it won’t only be the city’s and TTC’s reputations on the line come 2015, but all of Canada’s. None of the above improvements should be too difficult to achieve, and will ensure the Pan American Games (and city in general) will run smoothly. They say that those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Hopefully, the TTC has already learned from their past mistakes. The world won’t end in 2012, but their reputation just might in 2015.

The Better Way?

Tuesday 6 December 2011

A Very Censored Christmas

That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.” - Linus van Pelt

I don’t care! I say, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas!” - Donald Duck

Not sure if anyone will see this or not, but here goes…December is here again, and for my first rant I’ve decided to tackle Koodo Mobile’s (Canadian cell phone company, for anyone outside of the Great White North) current commercial, in which their diminutive Luchador mascot refers to Christmas trees as “Holiday trees”. As I watched said ad for the first time, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and let out an exasperated sigh at that politically-correct euphemism, especially since it was uttered by a stereotypical cartoon Mexican.

Why has it gotten to the point in our society where mentioning “Christmas” by name is just as bad as saying “Lord Voldemort” in a Harry Potter movie? I can totally understand wishing strangers on the street and in the malls a “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” due to the wonderful diversity of cultures and faiths in our society. Likewise, I can accept workplaces throwing “Holiday parties” or “Festive parties” in place of Christmas parties for the exact same reason. But stripping the word “Christmas” from something as 100%-Christmas-related as freaking CHRISTMAS trees?! What’s next?!?

I suppose we’ll soon decorate our houses with “Holiday lights” before driving to the mall to complete our “Holiday shopping”. Then when we’ve returned home, we’ll switch on the radio and listen to some “Holiday music” while preparing to mail “Holiday cards” to our friends and relatives. In the evenings leading up to “Holiday”, our kids will crowd in front of the TV to watch “A Charlie Brown Holiday” (minus Linus’ pivotal speech to the rest of the Peanuts gang) and “How the Grinch Stole the Holidays”, then on “Holiday Eve” we’ll gather our families around a cozy fireplace to read Charles Dickens’ classic novel “A Holiday Carol”. In the morning, we’ll all sit by the “Holiday tree” and open our “Holiday presents” before driving to the grandparents’ to enjoy a nice “Holiday dinner” (you get the point).

Rest assured that aside from today’s post, this won’t be a religious-themed blog (I simply rant about whatever’s currently grating on my nerves), but in my opinion, removing the word “Christmas” from all things that ARE specifically Christmas-related is going too far. Since Hanukkah falls around the same time, does that mean menorahs and dreidels will soon be renamed “Holiday candles” and “Holiday tops”, respectively? Saint Valentine and Saint Patrick are both religious figures, so the holidays named in their honour MUST be politically-corrected to “Love Day”, and “Green Beer Day”, respectively. Likewise, the “Spring Rabbit” will soon be delivering “Spring eggs” to all the delighted kiddies on “Spring Day”. While we’re at it, don’t forget to invite all your pals over for a BBQ on “Fireworks Day”, buy your kids’ back-to-school supplies before “Work Day”, prepare the turkey feast on “Dinner Day”, and carve your pumpkins on “Costume Day”. See the absurdity behind holiday euphemisms?!?

In closing, why does Christmas seem to be the ONLY holiday that can’t be referred to by its own name? It’s already overtly-secularized and highly-commercialized to the point that Charles M. Schulz needed to remind society what Christmas was REALLY about back in the mid-‘60s (which took A LOT of balls on his part, and will likely NEVER happen again on network TV). What’s the point in celebrating it at all if it needs to be severely diluted and entirely drained of its meaning to enjoy?

Is it truly necessary of our society to sugarcoat the reality that this particular holiday is named after the birth of Christ, and therefore started out as a Christian holiday? That fact doesn’t exclude anyone from enjoying the season solely for Santa Claus and the gifts he delivers, after all. I’ll end my first rant on that note, as I’ve got to start decorating my Christmas tree (perhaps I’ll listen to some Christmas music while doing so). Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

It’s a Christmas tree. Period.

Fearing the Reaper: My Self-Reflection on Death

“ Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certa...